Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
