dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
