So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
