But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
