I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
