I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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