he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My dick has a subreddit
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
