my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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