i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
