Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
