well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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