New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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