Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize