I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
