I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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