that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
