I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
