stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
