Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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