I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize