tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
