Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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