Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
