you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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