Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
