when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
