4 words: hood of his car
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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