Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
