I'm going to jail i love you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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