you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
