Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And then the night went full on bisexual.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
