I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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