david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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