Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
