Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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