hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
