He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
