girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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