I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
