Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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