they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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