My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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