I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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