what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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