You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Hippo gnu deer
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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