went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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