Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
