Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just had sex bonerless
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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