My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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