TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
