His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
