some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
