His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit