when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
