It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat