he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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