I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
