Yo dont text me then not text me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
