At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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