I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
