I cockslap morals
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
