I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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