It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
