I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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