why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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