soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
