so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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