maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
